child anxiety

/Tag: child anxiety

Help! My teen has self-harmed. What do I do?

by Karien Hill

Finding out your teen is self-harming can be frightening. You may feel overwhelmed and ill-equipped to handle the situation, fearing you might make it worse. Finding out more about why teens self-harm and how to help them manage their intense emotions can be useful.

Self-harm - The facts:

  • Self-harm is defined as intentional harming of one’s body without suicidal intent. It is usually done in places not visible to others.
  • Approximately 12% of young people have engaged in self-harm previously.

Why do young people self-harm?

  • To cope with an intense emotion
  • To punish themselves if they feel guilty
  • To try and replace emotional pain with physical pain
  • To feel ‘something’, ‘anything’ if they feel numb, disconnected or alone
  • To feel in control
  • To express they need help

Signs someone may be self-harming:

  • Wearing long sleeved clothing in warm weather
  • Isolating themselves and withdrawing
  • Scratches, cuts, bruises, scars with inconsistent explanations

How is self-harm and a suicide attempt different?

  • Most young people self-harm as a coping mechanism, rather than to attempt to end their life.
  • However, people who self-harm are also more likely than the general population to feel suicidal and to attempt suicide.

How do I tell the difference?

  • Just ask - if you notice your teen is engaging in self-harm, ask them if they have thoughts about suicide. If they are, take them to a GP and psychologist for assessment and support.
  • Experts agree that asking and talking about suicide does not make someone feel worse or ‘put the idea in their head’ – rather it provides relief.

What to say:

  • Ask – have they been self-harming, what has been going on, how are they feeling about it, what are they thinking, what have they thought about what they could do.
  • Then listen – you do not need to give advice or fix anything, unless they ask for it.
  • Acknowledge their feelings - don’t minimise or tell them not to feel a certain way.
  • Keep your reactions in check – if you feel scared, shocked, angry or blame yourself – breathe slowly and deeply, relax any tense muscles and get back to listening and acknowledging their feelings. If you react they may be less likely to communicate with you in future. Find other parents to connect with and discuss this and get your own support.
  • Admit you may react or say something unhelpful. Admit you don’t have the answer. Tell them despite this, you care, you are there, you want to help.

 

What to do:

1.     Get them to talk or express their emotions in other ways. 

Whether to you, a friend, other family member, doctor or psychologist, teens need to express and make sense of their emotions.  Ways to express emotion include:

    • Talking
    • Writing/journaling
    • Singing
    • Drawing
    • Painting

3.     Teach them alternate ways of coping with intense emotions. 

Here are some ideas:

  • Take a cold shower
  • Hold an ice cube
  • Draw on their skin on their area they have an urge to harm
  • Intense exercise: push ups, star jumps, running
  • Stretching
  • Rip up paper
  • Pop bubble wrap
  • Deep, slow breathing
  • Play a game

2.     Build their resilience. 

Young people build resilience through a sense of belonging. Help them to a join a group they may be interested in:

  • Team sport
  • Volunteering
  • Part-time job
  • Take up a new course
  • Book club
  • Chess club

4.     Spend quality time with them

  • Do something they love with them: play a game, sing karaoke, go to a skate park, shoot some basketball hoops. Teens equate quality time with being valuable and worthy of someone else’s time and attention. This builds self-esteem and ability to cope.

Where to get help:

  • Parentline
    • Free confidential telephone support for parents
      • 1300 30 1300
  • Calm Harm
    • Smartphone app to help manage self-harm urges
  • headspace
    • Free telephone counselling for youth aged 12-25
      • 1800 650 890
      • 9am-1am
    • Free face-to-face individual and group counselling with GP referral
Help! My teen has self-harmed. What do I do?2019-06-07T14:26:43+10:00

Helping children (and ourselves) respond to Media coverage of difficult events

by Dr Jasmine Pang

There has been a plethora of difficult news stories to hit our screens recently: from child abuse involving high profile, previously well regarded alleged perpetrators to mass violence resulting in multiple deaths. While the media can help to inform and educate, it can unfortunately […]

Helping children (and ourselves) respond to Media coverage of difficult events2019-06-11T12:52:34+10:00

3 Ways To Tell If Your Child Might Have Social Anxiety

Written by By Dr Cate Hearn

Shy or Self-Conscious

Compared to other children their own age, socially anxious children appear shyer and more self-conscious. They may:

  • Find it hard to talk to other children
  • Find it hard to make new friends
  • Feel left out or awkward, or worry they’ll embarrass themselves
  • Have less well developed social skills than children their own age
  • Dislike being the centre of attention
  • Worry a lot about their appearance
  • Worry that their friends don’t really like them
  • Be quiet in large social situations
  • Speak softly to those they don’t know well

 

Avoidance

Socially anxious children fear and avoid a range of social situations. They may:

  • Avoid new social situations
  • Make excuses not to go, by saying, “I’m just a homebody”, “I don’t feel like going”, “I don’t like parties”
  • Dread sports days or swimming carnivals
  • Dislike giving orals or talks in class
  • Be too anxious to raise their hand/answer questions in class
  • Play alone often

 

Tummy pains, headaches

Anxiety and worry can manifest in physical symptoms, and socially anxious children may:

  • Report pains in the stomach, headaches, nausea or sore/aching arms/legs especially before school or social events
  • Become withdrawn or irritable before social events or before school

 

Won't they just grow out of it?

Research shows that a great many children with social anxiety do not just ‘grow out’ of it.

Left untreated, social anxiety can persist and cause significant interference in children’s lives. Child friendly cognitive behaviour therapy for social anxiety can help children overcome social anxiety.

At Benchmark Psychology, we have a number of therapists who can provide child friendly therapy to socially anxious children. Ask for Dr Cate Hearn (who’s PhD thesis was in child and adolescent social anxiety), Dr Alison Bocquee, Dr Kylee Forrest, Dr Jasmine Pang or Dr Leona Chun

3 Ways To Tell If Your Child Might Have Social Anxiety2019-03-27T16:11:02+10:00

The myth of watch and wait

Something’s not quite right

James was like any other 9-year-old, but at the first mention of school his whole body would shrink and he would stare at the floor. Even though he had some good friends and wasn’t being bullied, he really didn’t like school. He didn’t have any ‘obvious’ issues, but he just couldn’t seem to keep up with the schoolwork and even started to call himself ‘the dumb kid’.

Chloe needed constant help to do her homework and was embarrassed to read in front of others. She was losing her confidence and every day became a battle to make it through the afternoon. Her parents were worried because they could see that if they didn’t do something she would be left behind, and their cheerful little girl would slowly withdraw away.

Parents are the experts on their children. They know their children better than anyone else, and they know when things aren't quite right.

 

Ryan has always seemed a little different from his brother. He didn’t play the same games and would spend hours alone, lost in “Ryan’s World”. He seemed to be a bright kid, but he never quite got it when it came to friends. One moment he would be smiling up at his parents and the next he would be on the ground. His parents were lost for how to help him.

The myth of watch and wait

These stories are ones we hear every day. Unfortunately, parents concerned about their child’s development are all too often told to ‘watch and wait’. They’re told that they are just ‘anxious’ parents and that their child’s problems are ‘just a phase’. These messages are not only invalidating for parents – they leave children behind and leave families and educators lost.

The path to helping children develop begins with understanding.

 

Parents are the experts on their children. They are number one. They know their children better than anyone else, and they know when things aren't quite right. Trusting this intuition as a parent and getting support as soon as possible, can help children reach their potential and be the best they can be before a small problem becomes a big one.

Finding a path for your child

Sometimes parents feel like they’ve tried everything to help their child and nothing seems to make much difference. They feel like they are sailing in the dark – not knowing which direction to turn. The real issue is that often we don’t have a clear understanding of the child’s thinking style or view of the world.

The path to helping children who are experiencing challenges in their social, emotional, behavioural, or academic development begins with understanding. A developmental assessment can provide this key and open up the pathway to change.Assessments for children can include a range of developmental areas. For example, cognitive assessments help parents to understand their child’s way of looking at the world.

Assessments for children can include a range of developmental areas. For example, cognitive assessments help parents to understand their child’s way of looking at the world, and can detect if a child is struggling to keep up, if they need more help, or if they have difficulty with a particular area of learning (such as problems with reading or paying attention). Assessments can also target specific developmental challenges, such as Autism Spectrum Disorders or Asperger’s Syndrome, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, and clinical anxiety.

Quality matters

At Benchmark Psychology, we have a team of clinicians experienced in a range of developmental assessments for children and young people. Assessments are conducted directly by registered a clinical psychologist or clinical neuropsychologist with experience in assessments and postgraduate university qualifications.

We only use the gold-standard measures for assessment, such as the Weschler Intelligence Scale for Children (WISC), Weschler Individual Attainment Scale (WIAT), and Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule (ADOS-2).

Every family is engaged in their child’s assessment process from start to finish. Parents receive a written report, outlining the assessment steps, the findings, and detailed recommendations to help parents decide where to from here. Parents also attend a feedback session with the clinician to go through the report together, discuss the results, and ask any questions.

Benchmark Psychology also offer families full assessment packages at a low cost (compared to other psychological practices in South-East Queensland).

To find out more or book an assessment today, call (07) 3349 5511 or visit benchmarkpsychology.com.au/services/cognitive-assessment/ for information about cognitive assessments or

benchmarkpsychology.com.au/autism-spectrum-disorders-assessment/ for autism spectrum disorders assessment.

This post was written for us by Dr Grace Sweeney and Dr Richard Wellauer from Benchmark Psychology.

The myth of watch and wait2019-04-01T13:03:19+10:00